Why Do People Struggle with Other People’s Success?

It’s common to observe people reacting with judgement and doubt when someone they know—or even don’t know—achieves success. We also see comfort in tearing down public figures who are successful. But why does this happen? Why can’t we celebrate others’ achievements with enthusiasm?

The Root of the Issue: Misunderstanding Happiness and not believing in your dream

At the core, we all seek happiness. Yet many are not clear on their own dream for their life. Unfortunately, many believe that happiness is tied to external success—whether it’s financial gain or public recognition. However, this kind of happiness is fleeting because it’s based on external rewards and not their dream. True happiness must come from within. When someone is happy within themselves, they are more likely to feel joy for others’ success. When they are connected to their dream and moving toward it, they are more likely to feel joy for others, reaching their dreams. In cases it ends up, showing them the end to the means.

When someone else achieves success that another person desires, feelings like jealousy, inadequacy, or a sense of being undeserving can arise. These emotions stem from a fear that they cannot reach that level of success. This fear leads to an internal imbalance, which is often expressed externally as criticism or negativity toward the successful person. For someone who feels like this, their fear that they can’t comes from old limiting beliefs that also lead to them not believing they CAN!

Judgment Stems from Fear

As I often say, we judge others in ways that reflect our own fears of being judged. In this context, people criticize or tear down others who succeed because they fear not being good enough themselves. Their internal fears and doubts are projected onto the successful person, feeding a destructive cycle that they learned in earlier life.

For instance, someone who believes societal standards equate love with physical perfection might judge someone who doesn’t fit that ideal. Even if they themselves are fit, their fear of not meeting that standard drives their harsh judgment. It’s a reflection of their insecurity, not a true reflection of the other person’s worth.

The Role of Media and Culture

Beyond individual experiences, our culture perpetuates this fear-based behavior. Media outlets make billions by promoting gossip, shame, hate, and judgements about successful public figures. As a society, we’ve become more accepting of destructive criticism (it sells), and this seeps into everyday behavior. Social media platforms amplify this by giving people the space to publicly judge and criticize others, often with a sense of righteousness.

Conclusion: Choosing Compassion Over Judgment

In the end, those who judge, criticize, or bully others are often coming from a place of fear—fear of being judged themselves, fear of not being good enough, or fear of failure. It’s a reflection of their own dissatisfaction.  Therefore, it refuels the very fear that the judgment of them as not good enough is inevitable because they are not where a successful person is. 

We can interrupt this cycle by choosing compassion over judgment. We are all human, facing challenges of our own. The next time you hear a harsh judgment, pause and choose to spread kindness instead. Compassion and acceptance start with each of us.

You can end the cycle by choosing to heal the fears within you that lead to you, not believing that you too can be successful. You can also heal by looking at the judgments you were taught about success and how that keeps you in a state of lack of success